Pondering the Positive

Bad(?) news yesterday, did not get the job that I was sure was coming my way. I have now been unemployed for almost nine months. There is this part of me that wants to be outraged but it has not gathered any steam. On the contrary, I realize I didn't want THAT particular job anyway. It was a job though, a means of survival, money in the bank, insurance, dentist for my daughter, food on the table. And then I realized I still have everything I need. This is the place I start from today. Roof over my head, just enough money to pay the bills, love in my life, two healthy daughters without major drama, first grandson on the way, great car with NO car payments now, relatively good health, and solutions in the pipeline for anything that isn't working. So what am I doing about the rest? Studying. Writing in my journal. Using amazing guided meditations found on the internet. Finding others I can help. Swimming and doing yoga and trying to make that a habit in my life. Examining what I want...not crying about what I don't want. Reading for the second time in 3 weeks the book "Ask and It Is Given...Learning to Manifest Your Desires" by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Getting involved in a discussion group on the principles of the Law of Attraction. Bringing up my vibrations by finding things that make me feel GOOD....I like feeling GOOD. I am hope filled today even though I haven't a clue what is coming next. And you know what? It is kind of exciting!

Sharing Celebration

I turned 53 today. I am not one of those women who try to fool the world into thinking I am younger...gratitude for life's gifts remove that as even a consideration. I am also a survivor. It is often difficult to believe the life I have today when memories of painful events of the past invade my thoughts. It took a lot of work to get here. A lot of self discovery, painful honesty, and learning to delight in life as it is rather than suffer for what it is not. I give of my time and my experience to help others on a regular basis. It enriches my life. Yet I am only learning to receive. Tonight I was part of an impromptu group of 12, laughing and sharing my celebration of life. I was loud. I laughed so hard I cried. I ate a hot fudge sundae for dinner. I hugged almost everyone twice. Relationship has become important, though I have only NOW learned how important that is. I have people in my life who care for me. It was only recently when I had others to participate in and help me celebrate my successes, that I realized it wasn't until I was a grown up before that happened. I am glad I didn't figure that one out until I possessed the opposite. There is so much to be grateful for today. And the best part is....now I know how to embrace it with childlike wonder.

Re-Entry And Smooth Flying (Dating After 50)

The wonderful poet Shel Silverstein wrote in "Stone Airplane"...

I made an airplane out of stone...
I always did like staying home.

How many of us dream of creating, traveling, sharing, only to find that our dreams never get off the ground because we are waiting for someone to push us, prod us, or drag us to them? Even CONSIDERING dating after 50 can sometimes be an exercise in taking a trip into a dark alley full of hungry pit bulls. After years with one person, the thought of risking love again can often freeze us. Everything we are is now on stage for the scrutiny of strangers. Jumping out into the dating world without a thorough inspection of ourselves is asking for trouble.

A great way to start might be to rediscover what we enjoy doing, seeing, feeling, and learning. Resurrecting old hobbies and trying new ones, taking trips on our own and learning to be comfortable with ourselves in different types of settings can be enlightening. More physical activity or trying something we loved as a kid again can reconnect us with joy. Making a checklist of what we want in a partner is also a terrific idea...if we have those qualities ourselves. Time spent journaling what we do and do not want in a relationship gives us a concrete outline in which to begin. And if we find ourselves lacking in some areas, we can use our energies to enrich our own personalities. Who wants to give a new love a broken gift?

It is when we have these things in place that our dating lives can be successful and fun. We have to get that “airplane” fueled and checked out before we can have a smooth liftoff!